Idiot

May 30, 2007 at 2:39 am (Uncategorized)

Idiot, yeah. That was me in Nashville. I guess that I didn’t think that anything like this would have happened, but I had a huge realization. Man, was I naive. When I was in Nashville I almost made two very large mistakes… both involving a certain keyboard player. I really thought that he was someone who was genuine, but I found out otherwise. I may have lost a friend and I may have gained a great new one. Lenny, the drummer, was awesomely fun and I had a really good time hanging out and chillin’ with him. I was wanting company because I felt pretty dang hurt. I was so incredibly stupid to care about someone off of nothing, I guess. It pretty much came down to the fact that I was not “good enough” to be around him and affectionate in public with. However, I never tried the fishnet and guarders like the other girl he wanted to be with was wearing. I mean, I guess I could not be trashy enough… because I was not going to sink to that level. I am a smart, beautiful, talented, and a very caring and genuine person. It was awesome that everyone there noticed that I was much prettier than she is. I had such wonderful people there with me. Those people that travel around with Anthony are some of the best people I know. They care about one another and are a blast to hang out with. They would pretty much do anything for you too.

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But yeah, I was hurt and a little bewildered why he would choose someone like her over me, but oh well. I guess I shouldn’t have been expecting too much because I knew better. I just thought that he would at least acknowledge the fact that I was there and we were at least friends from previous shows. I mean seriously, he could have talked to me at least once throughout the night!

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That’s good ole’ Lenny. I think that we will have a friendship that will last a whole long time! That was pretty much one of the best things about the trip! Plus, I feel like I have gained a whole new family! I cannot wait!

Peace!

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I Fear Spiders No More…

May 17, 2007 at 3:14 am (Uncategorized)

One thing I have learned to do since I have been taking care of my own house is to get over my fear of spiders. I can no longer yell for a strong, handsome gentleman to help me out… it’s just me. It is kind of sad… really. I am not going to lie, I still scream like a little girl when I see one, but eventually I get over it and have to do something about it.

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Wow… I can be “Girlie”

May 16, 2007 at 9:50 pm (Uncategorized)

Today has been most eventful. I actually got up and around before noon. I was out and about running errands. Also, I have cleaned off the new drafting table and I have begun to organize all of my architecture supplies and tools. I have put down the ant spay, killed a scary looking spider, and cleaned the kitchen. I still have to vacuum and dust. Plus, I need to start my laundry. I have many loads to do. I also hope to pack for our trip and pick out the shoes I want to take. Now that, is my real challenge. I have so many to choose from. I have to pick the most perfect ones for each outfit. Wow, that is the most “girlie” I have sounded in some time.

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Darn Good Quote!

May 14, 2007 at 6:53 pm (Just Writing from the Soul)

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” – Patanjali

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A bunch of RANDOM stuff…

May 13, 2007 at 6:35 am (It's just my life, Just Writing from the Soul)

Why is it that when you are sad you listen to sad music? I just thought that was an interesting thought… I was looking at something on wikipedia and I saw this link so I clicked on it.

It makes complete sense to me. There was just something wrong with my last relationship, but I did love him. It wasn’t him that I could stand to be with. It was all the crap that we had to deal with. Maybe in another life or another time… who knows.

Social Exchange Theory

People’s feelings toward another is dependent on his/her perception of rewards and costs, the kind of relationships he/she deserves, and their likelihood for having a healthier relationship with someone else. Rewards are the part of a relationship that makes it worthwhile and enjoyable. Costs is something that sometimes causes irritation like when a friend over stays his/her welcome. Comparison level is also taken into account during a relationship. This suggest that people expect rewards or punishment depending on the time invested in the relationship. If the level of expected rewards is high and the level of costs if minimal, the relationship suffers and both parties may become dissatisfied and unhappy. Lastly, the comparison level of alternatives states that people’s satisfaction is conditional on the chance that he/she could replace the relationship with a more desirable one.

i-love-this-picture.jpg Me and my ex. I did love him.

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Is it really Summer??

May 12, 2007 at 12:42 am (It's just my life)

I am not sure what to do with myself now that school is out. I don’t know who is going to be here and I am frightened that I am going to be not doing a whole lot now. I need something to occupy my time. Last summer I spent it with Neeraj. That isn’t going to be the case this summer. I anticipate that it is at least going to be fun. I have never really been “this” alone. By that I mean all of my friends went to their home town… I will now be living in a house all by myself, and my family is in a completely different city as well. There is really no one here for me.

Sometimes I drive around just to have something to do. I wish I could just close my eyes and be with the people I want to be with. I think that reading always sounds good when you want to waste away time. I also like coffee shops. I could take a good book, my iPod and stay awhile. I could do more drawings, maybe read some interesting and educational books. I really do want to be very intelligent. I feel as though I already am intelligent, but in the complete spectrum, I know very little. No one person can understand everything. Really, I just have to wait three weeks and then my friends will be back in town. I guess that will be fun. At least I have some really awesome things to come. For example, I have the Incubus Concert, the Fray concert, the Snow Patrol concert, and I can’t forget all the Anthony Gomes concerts! I am stoked about that. Anyway, I am also going to be traveling to Vegas. Arkansas will be fun too. Plus, I expect a couple camping trips and nights with my friends. I guess I’ll see what happens. Until then, see ya!

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A couple of friends and I… here’s to summer!

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Mae Lyrics

May 5, 2007 at 9:33 pm (lyrics)

Man, I love Mae. Seriously, I have been listening to it for hours and hours today alone. I still never get tired of it.

Ready and Waiting to Fall
Drowning, just as fast as I can.
But don’t throw me a line,
don’t reach out your hand.
Cause, I’m on the brink of something beautiful
and I want to sing about it,
but I don’t know where to begin.
Write it in a letter,
but the words don’t come out right.
Trying to explain how nobody can do me like.
You don’t understand how helpless I can get
Since the day that we met.
Oh can you feel it yet?

It’s never been more perfect being alive
I’ve never been so satisfied. Oh…

I could feel something different for the first time
Heaven made sense and all the words rhymed.
No chance of stopping now. I’m taking it all.
And now I’m caught in the air, its a good glide.
Pass it up, wouldn’t dare what a wild ride.
I remember being ready and waiting to fall
just like I did tonight.

Spinning around and around
Until my left was my right and up became down.
With just one look you knocked me off of my feet.
So unable to speak. Oh how you made me weak.
Though it was a while ago, I still can recall.
That moment so ready, and waiting to fall.
Can you take me back in time
remembering when you captured my heart?
Over and over again.

It’s never been more perfect being alive
I’ve never been so satisfied. Oh…

I could feel something different for the first time
Heaven made sense and all the words rhymed.
No chance of stopping now. I’m taking it all.
And now I’m caught in the air, its a good glide.
Pass it up, wouldn’t dare what a wild ride.
I remember being ready and waiting to fall
just like I did tonight.

Ready and waiting to fall…

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Oh no… Mother’s Day is almost here!

May 4, 2007 at 5:34 pm (Funny Random)

I have no earthly idea what I should get my mother for Mother’s day! Not good! I don’t have time right now to be going shopping for things.

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Sad News

May 2, 2007 at 4:31 pm (Funny Random)

Unfortunately the concert was postponed. There was a death in the family and they didn’t play. I feel really bad for them, but I drove three hours to see them. I was very sad.

However, I can’t wait to see the two bands together when they do get to redo the concert. Hopefully it will be bright and sunny outside with no chance of rain… Well, I guess I will just be extra excited to see them play again. Also, I got a comment that Aqualung was going to be playing at a bar in KC last night and I missed that too. We went home because we could not figure out what to that evening… sad news. I desperately wish now that I could have gotten the chance to see them twice!

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The Fray and Aqualung Together!

May 1, 2007 at 5:26 pm (Funny Random)

I am so freaking excited now… and here’s why: I am going to a concert tonight in Kansas City and I am seeing The Fray! I just found out that one of my other favorite bands is going to be playing with them! Aqualung is going to be there too! Woo hoo! I will post pictures later!

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